I've Got Ten Friends And A Crowbar That Says You Won't Do Jack

It's falling apart.
MY ENTIRE LIFE IS FALLING APART. (well, not entirely) I'M DONE. (well, not completely)

I just feel fucked.

Doesn't Matter Much.
The smell of summer fills the linen closet where your cover's blown
I'm a secretive commotity, the smallest that you've ever known
"I'm dreaming all my nightmares, and nightmaring all my dreams..."
People and their lovers aren't always what they seem.
I've hung myself from buildings just to see how it would feel
If the thought of cutting yourself up felt anything but close to real
A magnet caught the stride of the nail that you've plunged down
Into the wood above my heart while I'm standing on the ground
I'm coating all your senses with appeals of hope and lust
Caving down into your throat, while you throw back up the dust
Settled back into your lungs since you see no cause in breathing
As you tear out your esophagus, you've no less cause for screaming
Hollow out your crooked soul, take a number and a seat
Keep a collar on stability it's bound to find a way to be beat
Hey, there, Pinocchio, it seems as if you're telling us some lies
There's a stem that reaches out from where your mouth interjects with your eyes
Maybe I'm just restless, and then again, I might be loathed
Didn't mean to make this awkward, it's just I love to tell the truth
Hidden deep within your eyes, there's a river that unfolds
Sometimes everything you feel needs not be immediately told.
Roped and gradually released between the now and the tomorrow
Enterprising and succeeding, with more lines than one can borrow
Along the libraries of fate and the towns were things reside
Dressed in clothes of high importance where their existence doesn't lie.
Blackened coffee shoves a high note through the courtship of your pens
Even though the keyboard feels your touch, it's just a whore on both it's ends.
Leaving out the space between sincerity and gaunt
Old and tattered like the stars that haven't given you a thought.
Where did everybody go and why am I still kicking fucking cans?
Lofty, high above the clouds, there's horizons to be stripped
Over the bridge that cries for freedom as it's supports become clipped
Vast as oceans and the sky while we admire only that
Eager to feel so enthralled to write a sonnet with a bat
I've seen buildings falling down and the prettiest of faces
Systematically corrode, to be of utmost poetic nature
Not to prove or be aloof, just to find a place to rest
To come closer to a heaven where you don't have to be blessed
Red and white wine is on them, and the cocktails never cease
Even after you've exploded there's still no one there but priests
Always ready for commands, keeping you upholestered and renewed
Laughing out at stupid jokes and crushing what they thought was true.
If you've read this message, I think I'm already dead.
I took pride in this life, but not in the hole in my head.

Current Music: One Of The Loudest Tragedies Ever Heard - Love And Attention

A Boy And His Dog
Just believing everything will be alright.
Finally, the search has become misleading.
I've only a pawprint and a few little hairs to show.
So, I'm drowning in the feelings that I had that surfaced.
Maybe you can't see it, now. But I miss you so much more.
I'm just your little enforcer. Keeping your room guarded.
No one will get in. That's a solemn promise.
If it takes me a thousand years, I'll see you again.
I can't let this old brain forget about my closest friend.
Making my rounds around this darkened town.
Currently, you're nowhere to be found.
The streetlights blink in black and white.
Not quite finding anything, just your friends, but they're all sleeping.
Where did you go? Why did you leave me behind?
Following the faintest signs of heartbeats.
If there's one thing that a tail is good for.
It's showing you when I know I'm wrong.
This is how I tell you that I'm sorry for what I've done
That old shoebox, I never knew it meant that much.
For every little thing that ever made you want to scream, I will apologize.
I wish that you'd come home. I wish you would.
So, now, It's day thirteen. I haven't seen you in almost two weeks.
Is it worth it to blame myself? Is it something that I don't know about?
There's an awful lot going on around here that you're missing out on.
But maybe that's for the better. I know you hated commotion.
I tried to keep your door closed, but they shuffled me out into the rainfall.
No matter how I tried to tell them that I wanted in, no one is ever listening.
Please don't be angry, for this promise I tried so hard to keep.
Tell me now, have you ever wanted out?
It seems as if there's something you never told me about.
The rain doesn't seem to bother me, I'll just shake it off.
I'm writing this in dirt. Hoping that you'll see it, someday.
This is the part where I decide that everything will have to find itself.
I never saw it coming. I never saw it coming.
Still no sign of you. Lay me down to rest.

Current Music: Secret Lives Of The Freemasons - A Song Of Hope

It's Been A Long, Long Time
Remind me to start that anorexic trend
A heart so gaunt and full of tumult
Caressed with holes and leaks and fruitless dreams
Of being the center of your soul.
Remind me to go without shoes again
So the soles of my feet will be cut up
The air's bittersweet, and the glass finds a scene
To play doctor with my nerves and vital signs.
Dear God, he's flatlining again. Give us oxygen.
A prayer to lift up, if you're willing to trust
That the exit will be as simple as pulling a plug.
Oh, nurse, I think his breathing has failed.
Give him time, it's only fair.
You're conscious, alert, and obeying the smirks
Of the people who've gathered to watch this young boy be unearthed.
Lying on paper, it's easier when you're not faced with the trauma.
A quiet ensemble, a low to tune samba
A tumbler or two full of your favorite "forget it all" juice.
Well, what will that do? Yet, to prove
That you're losing your mind will do no apparent justice.
Remind me to start up a chorus again
If I can find it beside this mess of a body I have
Come let this quiet ensue, and I'll just let me let you
Have at the front of my ribs with a hammer or two
But just don't be so surprised when there's no organ inside
That I've kept locked away for the start to day
I've made a perfect revolution around your house
And strung your bedroom door with dynomite
Lit the fuse for exactly when you'd open your door.
And left a card between the bottom of your bed and the floor.
Dear God, he's flatlining again. Give us oxygen.
A prayer to lift up, if you're willing to trust
That the exit will be as simple as pulling a plug.
Oh, nurse, I think his breathing has failed.
Give him time, it's only fair.
I've left room between the mouth of the bottle and my lips
To judge the rhythm from the left of your hips
Stormed out before the second act has stopped
I'm not one for the theatre or the door that it locked
This appeal lingers over your front porch.
To reconstruct the promises I lost.

Current Music: Minus The Bear - The Game Needed Me

These Are Just Bodies
Boy, I'm feeling rather poetic today.
Along the tracks I've made in brown and gray.
Dug up and pressed forth through that modem of a world.
Screaming through wires and church spires,
And here's your chance to save the scene.
The rest of your cast has drawn a blank.
Yesterday was only the shimmering and eternal preface
Hoping that there's nothing less than marks on the box.
Questioning a hoard of gravel as if it speaks back.
Yet it only tears through the soles of your feet.
Had I been aware of the county and the way it speaks,
Maybe I wouldn't have feigned my integrity.
The jury has gained their own leverage.
Having stolen the criminal and his evidence.
Just look for the man in the black suit.
For some kind of lead will be as certain as stone.
Followed the ground's imprints to an apple tree.
Took some back for you and some for me.
Colored my shoelaces with the water from the brook.
Came to decide I wouldn't need that second look.
Still I stood shackled like some fucking crook.
I needed to be dreaming, darling. I needed this to be unreal.
Took a sharp turn where the ground's branding ended.
Found nothing but a torn dress and an author bleeding.
Writing on his collar as if he wanted some authority.
"It seems you're starting off sentences with single letters,
and ending on sour notes with dynamic marks.
Is this where you felt your speech would escalate
Into something people would love and understand?
The truth is that insight comes from the heart," he told me.
But, who has the patience to believe that?
We all want to be heroes every day.
It's that kind of things that no one ever wants to say.
And that's why I'm so poetic, today.

Current Music: Boys Night Out - Composure

Know Your Own Name
everything deserves to be romantic, once in a while
but yesterday had arrived late, and it came with a smile
erasing little pieces of characters,
i'm colliding with validity
coagulated corners filled with questionable reflexes
and i'm selling road maps by the stop sign
in case you're wondering, none of the routes are real.
must make you wonder why you're buying at all.
it's all in the shape of being quick with sentimental promises
if i'm hiding out, then you're the thread with which i'm covering myself
let's hear it for the long walk home
racing trains on foot to kill the cold
just instigation of emotions keep you in contempt, for sure
let's hear it for the crowd you've built
and the blood from a broken heart you've spilled
i can't relate the relay
silence comes undone while you're just breathing into the phone.
hey, i'm just here for one more weekend
make the best of lost control.
comparing warmth with capabilities.
can you feel the sunlight? i'm just another brick you've stole.
and that's why foundations fall.
well, i could've sworn you knew.
i'm navigating through the racing world without a hardhat on.

Current Music: The Higher - Diaries

Steal evidence from the mainframe.
Try to reveal where the words are choking at the neck.
Shot through the heart, you've become a cleanser.
A memory to be lost. A memory to be lost.
Beware, your eyes, they lie just like the last time you thought you were alright
But, don't make me stop thinking about you.
Property mortgaged just inside the boundaries your rib cage set.
I'm finding out I'm just another mark inside your little book.
Don't blame me for the last few days, it's all relative, but I'm just okay.
So, don't mind the phone calls when I hang up after I have heard your voice.
Please return me to the shelf where I've been collecting dust
Move me in any way and breathe into the dirt that you've kicked up.
Well, I'm giving you the opportunity to stay here and relay
All those activities that you forgave me for one lifetime ago.
You're just another recon trail. Bricks left in piles on the floor.
Tripping over the pieces of me that you left behind.
I hate that I can't remember why I fell for you in the first place
I hate that I can't remember why everything seems this way.
Come back to this town when it's burned down,
Your house forever stays untouched
I just can't watch you sink with the ship that we both built a year ago.
Love me? Well, I can't ask for that.
Justice? Maybe that's all I have.
I'm just a motor that is running out of battery to use.
I can't keep asking questions that I know you'll never answer
I can't keep making graves that I know you'll never fill and
I can't keep this up while you're keeping me down
And if we're such good liars, then, why am I painting you out?
I couldn't wait for the sun to go down
And the moon would explode, go out with a bang.
And we'd capture the pieces as they'd float down from the sky.
We're winding down the path where you give it all up.
It's that relinquishing place in line. Do you know where you are?
Who are you with when those lights turn off?
Tell me where to go, now , that we have burned our bridges,
The only sanction we have to let us interact.
Make new friends, but keep the old? One was silver, the other is cold.
Why don't you sell yourself short. Bottled and sold.
Over the counter like a prescription drug.
Be abused, be fucking used. Be that temporary lapse.
Become an addiction. You can be the newest heroin.
As you slither into my veins, I'll let you tell me what you want.
Mercy for you, and mercy for us. Ambulance waiting.
Accidents seem more fragile when you're the proponent of love.
Just dry yourself out, now. Let your eyes leak.
BEINGFASHIONABLEISTHENEWDEATHSENTENCE.

Current Music: Kid Gorgeous - The Frank Sinatra Blues

Kiss or Kill
Don't mistake your rhetoric for something that it isn't.
I'm not submissive, according to your timbre.
Where is it that you cut yourself out of this picture?
I wish I knew where I left you without a kiss.
Sustained your erratic breathing, gave you a set of standards
Granted pardons to the makers of your conscience.
Set a wrench above the skyline. Fix it up and crack a smile.
Place a phone call gently down upon the company of people that you love.
Well, here's a chart and a memory
I've referenced every dictionary I could ever find,
Well, there's no word for that, I swear.
The best I can do is just try to give you an explanation.
But I feel as if that would just make it worse.
You've got your options.
Sit down on that piano, baby, stay a while.
Trust sees over a sky where you bear yourself dry.
The air sets into your wounds cold and croaking.
Hit the ground just as you fall asleep
And if you think I'm thinking hard enough, maybe you'll dream about me.
Eighty six by afternoon.
Another dreary requiem, written out of tune.
Counting off to a rifle with a gorgeous face.
While I try to fill up all of this empty space.
Between the barracks and my back.
I swear that you make my heart attack.
Keep your hands at my waist.
Something tells me that it's the last time we'll see this place.
Death march, give me a month or two,
To decide what road I'm going to choose
Believe the notes, believe my account
If I'm gone, I'm never coming back.
I can't predict the weather, so I tried to use an inference
To bring me back to you, but nothing ever seems to make much sense.
I crawled into the basement, tried to find a new hobby to do
Didn't have you next to me, so I figured that I'd have a side to choose.
Here's an excuse to make my premonitions count.
How can you be so sly if you think nothing's bound to work?
So, I'll heed my own advice, identified your glitch as just a quirk.
A system is no simile for everything you mean to me
This courtship comes as no surprise to me, so as this feeling dies
I'll keep a good luck charm under my pillow
Hoping that something will start to change.
Come undone. I'm your cannonball.
I'll bring down buildings if you'd love me at all.
The local papers will give you the homage that you deserve.

Current Music: Every Time I Die - Hit Of The Search Party

Interestingly Enough, I'm Writing About Another Girl, Today.

the sample surgery. the patient grips at your hand.
no words, just a pair of blue flourescent eyes,
whispering, "please don't let me be the first to go."
can you be my miracle? can you be my miracle?
i'm waiting on the sun to come out.
to beckon to the clouds to patch up the holes in the atmosphere.
to shed some light on this situation we have.
i'll make the first incision, make sure to be as gentle as i can be
knowing that if you wake up.
there'll be no end to the discretion that you'll take away.
i miss the feel of your lips against mine.
i guess i'm at fault, for wishing that time could stand still.
and what will you say when i'm caught in this daydream?
my hands are shaking and i hope that i don't slip up, now.
i got so far and i just don't want to turn around.
breathe now, go to sleep. and try to dream.
before you know it you'll be cured of this disease.
and that disease is me. i'll cut you out of my heart.
and put back into your own. if that's possible.
so while you're under that blanket,
don't mistake the lights for anything that they could be.
because you're not in heaven, well, not yet, at least.
i can't be ruthless, i can't be wrong.
i'll be your underground garage, where you can hide away.
to escape the medicine and the therapy prescribed each day.
i know you're trying to rebuild yourself.
everything seems so simple when your resting like a shelf.
except for following your heart, as it collides with your mind.
and that's something that can only be healed by time.
i'll patch you up and throw away the cloth.
that i had so accurately used to dampen all the remaining blood.
i'll send you flowers and a book to read while you're in bed
i'll come over when are you sleeping, and i'll kiss your head.
the beside cemented my feet right near your sheets.
the air is cold to me but you're tucked in three miles deep.
and i can't leave you now. i need to hear you dreaming.
and i can't leave you now. whether i'm a ghost or not.
and i'm invincible when i'm around you.

Current Music: Freemartin - No Right

Your Selfishness Is Wearing Thin
christ, i know i'm scared. maybe this is a sign.
the days to come will unravel me.
tape me up, and throw me down into the ocean.
so i can wash upon the shores of the bottoms of your feet.
and i'll walk around until my knees give out.
and i'll write you lullabies on the backs of my elbows
i'll keep out of reach and just out of sight.
those subtle kisses on your forehead
reach down into the pit of my heart
and pull everything that i sewed back together out.
you are my black cloud tapered like a butterfly's wings
beautiful and captured in the sunspots we've seen
crawling out towards an inequity of charm
robust in character and at our wit's alarm.
claiming that the air's to blame
for keeping my lungs dry and all my words profane
can you hear me now? i hope you can.
can you hear me? i'm a weathervane.
blowing in the direction that i came
calling your name ever so softly, almost inaudible
but i bet your ears are sharp enough to know
just like the wit that you had so eloquently fondled
fold me up just like a paper crane
and tear me from the inside and work me like a dog
i wish i could care, but everything's numb inside
you'll be my novacine, be my insectide
ingest at will, take all of these pills
if i don't wake up, tell my friends that i am sorry
if you remember to. it's not that hard to do.
it seems like lately you've forgotten all but my name
and sometimes i wonder, if you've forgotten about that, too.
if my voice could echo through the waves out there
i'd make sure that every word i say leaves me bare
without the wonder of excitement or the snap of cold air
i just wish i knew that everything on the horizon
will stop exploding like a war that i have started by myself.
fault is only cracking like the genocide of friends
like the feeling that has started and has ceased to fucking end.
i care for you so much that i think i've used myself up.
that feeling that you get when you know you've been in love
well, here is where reality collides with what you know.
the science of falling out of place.
the words you read just to feel important.
the more i hear your name, the more i get so sick of being this way.
and this is what i've learned, as bold as it can be:
NOTHING THAT I EVER WRITE WILL EVER BRING YOU BACK TO ME.

Current Music: Codeseven - Nasty Little Revolution

Last Calls Are Weak Willed
a marked man with a vicious appearance
crawls out of the floorboards and into my mirror
so every time i try to look at my reflection
all i see is a monster staring back at me
i cried into my hands and tried to make this all equate
but i've found myself appalled at the people and the things that i hate
and don't believe for a moment that i'm dying here
i might just be alive, but by the barest thread that you can find
i keep to myself, but my mind keeps asking questions
and it makes my fingers jolt when i am pulling back agression
but it's all because i'm sick with being caught upon the ground
where a heart can't be a heart because there's no one else around to fill it up.
this precious air is filtered into my lungs
it's caught upon the tapers and the staples where my heart was fixed up
it stings my insides and it burns until i tear myself wide open
right in front of you so you can tell me where i went wrong
certainly not an idealist of sorts,
but if the world is tumbling into a rut, then sign me up as a corpse.
find me a box and a comfortable chair
so i can watch my body crumble as you keep him by your side to compare
the way i kissed you to the way that he does
and i'm sorry if i'm ruthless, but you know this really hurts
i'm comprising a plan to tie a rope to my neck
only hoping that you'll come along and kick the chair out that's holding me there
and if it's a wish that's granted, coming out of turn,
well, i hope this whole damn town knows that my conscience falls apart in your arms.
for the sake of keeping everything aligned
i'll just scramble around towns and mark the places that i know i've never been
maybe as time fades, there will be an escape
trusting in the way the world just seems to wash me away
so, for this one, i'll just close my eyes and dream that we're alone
in a room that's eight by six with a window and a door
just a couch and a tv and one of our favorite movies
and i'll hold you closer now than i have ever held another soul before
just as the plot slows down, i'll lean in just to whisper
that i've lost all faith in everything, but you're the only thing that keeps me here.
just as to stretch your legs to walk away, i'll kind of say,
"i will always love you, more today than yesterday,"
and if it sounds just like another song you may have heard before
your ears are wrought with dirty sounds and echoes from the floor
where i'll keep myself so you can step all over my poor heart,
because everybody knows that i do this to myself.
tonight will come and go, and even though this song will show
a few people who understand the way you feel when things go wrong
you'll come across the things that made you feel the way you did.
and i'll simply just apologize and leave this town the way that it is.

Current Music: Bothan Spies - Field Of Mice

Learn About Bravery
bring it upon, a blind man dreaming vivid colors
almost like you've never seen the sunlight before
memory banks exploding like bombs.
you've never been too good with art
and i'm not one to brag about my side of things
i've pre-empted a frame of reference for you to read.
it goes left to right and back to front.
we'll make this work for you.
realistically, ofcourse, you're just a rat in a sewer
a pacifier in a bowl of kahlua
the child numbs it's own gums to the sound of your voice
and the taste of your chest
and the vivacious nature of the envy in it's eyes
transfused from one soul to another.
i call corruption. foul play. enough is enough.
this game got too rough, my skin got too tough.
i'm all out of air, send me something up there.
love isn't an act, and that's something i thought you knew.
cut to scene three, where the couple falls in love
the antagonist waits upon a rooftop shouting about
maybe something will change, but it's not quite likely
things are different, now
it seems that all these stupid plots, they always end the same
and nothing gets accomplished through any of these frames
and everything we thought about the people that we were
seemed to just evaporate into the winter air we rose above
so don't blame me just yet
i'm sorry that i fell in love with you
the time in the heart of broadway ticks just like your heart beats.
short, separated, and ready to explode.
maybe it's time to abandon your dreams
before you find yourself sleeping just to taste your fantasies.
talent is just as faithful as the clothes on your back.
i bet you'd be willing to lose them, too.
you're no actress, baby, you're just no good.
apologies are crude and fake, it's not fate.
it's nothing that you couldn't ever come across.
i hope you can still feel my ghost when you're in bed.
i'll be the wind that makes you use that second blanket.
it's not that i want you to be cold.
i just want to be your furnace.

Current Music: Brand New - The No Seatbelt Song

All My Friends Are Going Death
Here's looking at you, kid. Here's taking the initiative.
Here's the burning engine. Here's the cold hard vengeance.
There's a knife in your side and the tracks on your eyes.
It seems you've crossed your path, before.
Readied and read, unclouded opened book demeanor.
Where the six meets the zero at the edge of the bridge.
Ready, set, jump. Ready, set, test your luck.
This is terror coming and ready to fuck.
To take you by your knees and rip into you like machines.
We're all oiled and powered on.
We're all madmen in the shape of a shall.
Take cover under the headstock. The barrel, the smoke, and the kickback.
The grieving I'm taking, I'm falling asleep at the helm.
Save me, deprave me, before I find myself dead.
Flavored myself, cooked and charred. Sugar and stones.
Smoked the back of my head until I bled no more.
I couldn't escape it, so I decided to give up.
I'm a master at that, you know, I'm just so abrupt.
I'm alone and on fire, blank and upheld
Like a law written, quilled, and engraved to the back of your skin.
Murders and alibis, I won't bare to stand on trial.
It's all the shit I can't live with, the shotgun gives me a kiss goodnight.
I love the taste of your tongue in my mouth.
I swear to god, this time tomorrow, I'll rip your fucking heart out.
Play dead. Lay down next to me. Hear me breathe.
Tell me it's a joke and put my head back together.

Current Music: Some Girls - All My Friends Are Going Death

Another Decade And They're Vanishing
I decided to take a few minutes to try to do you justice,
But realized I'd need years to let you know what you meant to us.
This all comes with eighteen years of never knowing how to do it right,
So you did what you did, and you can't take that back.
I suppose you're just staring down, folded arms,
And you wonder where our resolve went. How did this even happen?
I'll take off running with an arm full of regrets,
And you can chase me through the wind and whisper the breeze at the bottom of my shirt.
I'm so sorry it has to be this way.
As we search the streets for someone to blame, or threads to hold onto,
Just something to claim and call ours, reminders of you.
Blessed our heads with courtesy and emotion,
And we all stand dumbfounded and wait for the signal to start walking away,
But you've got to learn how to crawl before you walk,
And you've got to master that walk before you can run away from it all.
I started to believe that there's angels, and maybe you're one of them,

But I never saw you fly while you were here.
Maybe your wings were just paralyzed with fear.
I guess you must've known that miracles don't come easy
If people only took what you said and exercised believing.

Don't take this as naive, but I needed the signs.
Looking back, I can't apologize enough for doubting it.
So, you left without packing a suitcase, and took your heart,
But I'll never know how you kept that thing in your chest.
I've got the fondest memories and teardrops to speak of
When I've long forgotten about the buildings and the daylight,
But you're always with us.
To say that you're missed is an understatement, and where are you, tonight?
In the moonlight? In the horizons finite line?
I can't tell you how many times I've seen everyone paste
A heart next to your name and call it justice.
Maybe someday people will take you for the person you are.
Until then, we'll stick to being compassionate,
Without lashing out and being collected as it took months to piece ourselves back together.
Sometimes, I wonder if this is all a few words worth talking about.
This is love, the kind you tell your children about.

Current Music: Slow Coming Day - Don't Walk Away

Saw A Terrible Crash, And I Couldn't Help But Laugh

i found it difficult to write with all the lights out.
since you stopped my heart from beating, I guess I had no choice.
solace in alcohol, the sorrows drown with great withdrawl
from contact or the feeling of the morning in your eyes.
two more sips, I'll be just fine, walk me to the door, screaming to the doorknob,
"turn! i need to be inside! just let me sleep this off, tonight",
i wonder if you thought of me under the stars that night,
or my proposal for a valentine, you're all I need, alright?
ao, it's true that whenever you close your eyes,
if you see a face then you must be in love,
well, whoever told me lied, because I'm so far from you, tonight
and we're growing older, and we're far apart,
so I'm leaving town, without a solemn frown.
no smiles or indication that i'm still alive and well
watch out for all of these smoke signals and paper missiles,
i just can't seem to breathe, tonight.
keep the accidents at minimums,
the station docked and ready to explode,
we're losing fuel, well, i'm losing you, and that's me playing the fool,
or at least playing guitar, so can you hear it in your heart?
you're a million miles away, but you can hear it in your heart.
i stopped believing that there's anyone above me,
and you just can't grow wings, or fly away.
i let your intentions get the best of me, and now
i'm courtesy embalmed with a thousand pounds of unbalanced lead.
i'm crying silver tears with metal cheeks, tonight.
i just wish you can lift them from my face and buy yourself a brand new life.
there's no telling where this will lead me, but the road is cracked and the rocks are chipped.
the turns, they wind and lead into trees that cut through the wind like chirping birds.
tonight, I'll whistle at the moon, and maybe it'll give me something new.
tonight, i'll let myself come home, alive.
tonight, I'll give myself the last opportunity to catch my breath
and calm the waves of my stomach, as i stand and chatter teeth like morse code.
now, it's all I've got. i'm holding onto myself, because i'm that all I've got.
i guess I wished myself out of luck, i guess I'm worrying too much,
i just want you to come back home, just to see that empty house,
and the ticket I left out, just so you would know for sure
that when that plane goes down, I will be right there to feel the sting of passing time,
to feel your heart as it does mine, can you still hear that guitar?
i think it just ran out of notes.

Current Music: Mewithoutyou - Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt

Make Me Strong Like You
Pressed together like two growing shadows
We become each other's hopelessness.
Through motions of absence and blessing
We pick apart each others claims to fame.
Yet, the blood falls like a river bank.
Straight past your arms and through your face.
I look forward to the makeup that you've ran down past your cheeks.
That's why you're given to some sort of dream.
But, you'll never reenact the subtitles that you've seen.
Words become thoughts, and thoughts turn into memories
I hate the way you kissed me and everything you said to me.
And the plot thickens fades to dusty film reels.
I'm realizing that I'm just bitter because you don't love me, anymore.
Well, did the anthem that you wrote down
Fit atop your head like a crooked and tarnished crown?
I am your lungs, and you are my sea.
You're safe if you drown, so don't be scared to breathe
There's never enough ink to map out your escape.
If you would just believe, then you would still be here
But you left my heart at the shores of some old beach
How do you expect me to dig through sand and rocks and shells
If my hands are rusted up and my resiliance is out of reach?
Now, it's buried and I just can't bare to find it.
Sometimes, the things you love are best left unfound.
Just keep me in your crosshairs. Try to make this worth it.
Take a shot, and make it good, my armor pierced and ready to be crude.
Take a shot, and make it good, drunk and so in love that I doubt anything could hurt.
Please tell me why your laugh is still so etched inside my mind.
I hate to brag but I think I am just another time bomb.
Don't let me hurt anyone else out there.
It's lifeless as it is, and as stale as all the air you're breathing.
Mechanisms set to self-destruct. Time is just another word you don't know.
Poisoned, locked, and pierced at the axis of determination.
Let's draw straws and see who gets to stay overnight.
Don't pay for my happiness with broken sounds and screams.
I'm sick of knowing that I'll never be the one who's in your dreams.
I wish this night would end.

Current Music: Mates Of State - Ten Years Later

Trusty Chords
If I stare out through your windows and right past your blue eyes.
Could I be something more than someone who you find yourself despising.
I'm a reciever, just a dial tone accepting bits of silence that you mouth to me
Well, I'm concave, I'm just a grey and cloudy mess of things to say.
I've never felt so distant, I wish that you could fix it.
Your heart always seems broken, when mine is held together with tape and string.
Excuse the tapestry, I know it's looks a bit queer,
When all you've gone is just the minimum of accessories.
I tried to decorate when glitter and buttons and ribbons and tape
But, nothing can mend the leaking veins that lead right back to you and me
I wish the best for us, we're farther from complete
Than I think we ever were before we met and fell in love.
Nothing means more, than the sharp glow of the trees
As we pull aside our pockets, and bless ourselves holy.
Where does this engine run out and find it's way to a mechanic
Who will tell me that repairs of often trite and useless, anyways?
Could this be a shadow of my better days?
I'm eight lengths down from being down and out
It's something that I used to hearing all about.
I'm not blessed, but why would I keep trying?
If love is just a crooked knife compounding me while I am fast asleep.
Quick with the actions that will keep you sane
While roaring towards the tune to which you blame
The past few relationships and meaningless atrocities.
No one knows your rib cage quite as well as you do.
It's just a trap, you'll cut yourself loose once you figure out it's true.
We're all so special, here, through wisdom and the trends we keep.
A lie, a joke, a quip, a smoke, and we're gone from here.
What if we're nothing more than a lonely drag from a cigarette
That's keeping your lips parted just so you can take a breath?
Dirty lungs and aching tongues and pieces of you that I loved
I've brought erasers and some pencils so I can rewrite what I lost when you first left.
Could you direct me to the closest set of gates?
And find me rope or twine or something just to tie my arms the fuck to it.
Where is your heaven? Where is your hell?
I don't think the world is ready to even try to tell.
You used to say, "I love you" and understand the phrase.
Yet, now, you've got me thinking that you never did, these days.
I did nothing wrong, when honesty prevails, ascending past an escalator bound for better days.
Climbing towards a futureless brigade. Let's walk alongside this loneliness parade.
I'll bring the beer, and you bring the bandages.
We'll rip apart each other 'til we're nothing but a bloody pile of skin.
Then, patch me up just like the old days, baby.
Something tells me nothing's going to save me.

Current Music: Dallas Green - Hello, I'm In Delaware

Ward's Calling For A Lockdown
Lips sealed like envelopes, eyes peeled in smaller slopes
Sliding back down your back, waiting for a heart attack.
Crushing my sides and blaming my ribs for falling asleep.
Puncture and replace, this is only temporary. I'm a prisoner in my body.
Have you heard this all before? Do I seem redundant?
Repeated for length and lack of integrity.
Humming a tune of segregation and a lack of density.
Love battles time and distance in short steps and quick breaths.
I'm that collection of modern proverbs.
Books and books of modern artistry, complimented with talent.
Bundled up with the best of artillery, a stock of post-mortam wealth.
Trickling over the ground like a hurricane, watching with flashlights.
Waiting for a sign to ground the night and begin the heist.
No cell can keep me here, I'll scream it til my throat goes numb.
I'll cut and drag myself to death, I won't be here to watch myself grow old.
Held down with masking tape and thumb tacks
My integrity trembling in the corner coursed in the tracks
Of being cold and separate from a body warmed up with the sounds of change.
You're not a revolution, you're not a revolution.
You can't pat yourself on the back when your back isn't elusive.
Don't crawl to me, your cowardice has kept you at the front.
Don't tell me that it's family and friends that you are blessed with.
Without will to fight, no man's plight can even be contingent.
Let's go there, now, and say "safe trip home"
When the two of us know that we'll both be asleep alone.
Whether I'm dead or alive, there'll be no sense of time
Just the hair from my chin signifying there's some sort of crime
In here, I'm just another soldier of the bedside.
I'm a hospital between a bedsheet and a bride.
I can't commit. I'm through with it. My knees awake, because they shake.
Well, let's say I'm not okay with the thought that I am forever removed
From the tune of the sidewalks glowing with stroller wheels and rollerblades rolling
I miss this god damn town too much to ever say I'm never worth enough.
Repeating lines at the speed of a freight train.
I'm just trying to assure myself that I will be okay.
Don't blame my calm side, I'm just the simple type. I bleed exactly like the rest of the world.
No silver, no prize fight. Just a man and his gloves and his heart set aside.
Tell me why there's no one left here, I'm falling in a love with an exothermic kind of life.
I'll give everything that I have away, just so I can leave this nightmare, today.

Current Music: Recieving End Of Sirens - Planning A Prison Break

Your Body Will Burn, Tonight
It's funny that I let it get this far. Baby, I'm on top of the world.
I'm not a building and there's no pressure points.
I'm not intent on crumbling and losing my ground.
Pain is so cliche. Everyone bleeds red anyways.
Try to tell me differently, I'm reaching towards the place where you won't be.
"Tell me I'm beautiful", I love the way you beg.
Just let this peace initiate itself in your fingers.
Longing is just a temporary song to praise.
You know you've still got another hand to raise.
Go ahead and ask for a credit of sympathy.
Play with your tongue like it's a gun to my head.
Yeah, I bet you think I'm better off dead.
It's funny that I let you get this far. Baby, you should be hanging from a rope.
Is this all too graphic? Should you be laughing?
I hope you're afraid of the man I've become. I hope you croon for a taste of my love.
Understanding myself is open to criticism over the plane of apologies. I'll clear my plate.
Maybe we'll try again, tomorrow. Giving trust where it's trusted.
I'm not one for similarity. I love this symmetry.
How my reactions counter your smile.
Free from fright, I know what you're about.
I'm not yet ready to close my stupid mouth.
This is the buoyancy of loyalty.
Sink or swim, sink or swim, it's all in how you keep yourself afloat
I'll hollow out my heart, we'll make it a boat.
I'll let the rest of my organs swim to shore.
Collect them when we're done, and leave myself to bleed some more.
Hollow as the holes in your conscience. Or maybe as hollow as the last promise.
The one that I'd made for myself, when I gave my heart as a gift basket.
"In love" is no place for a boy like me.
I'm scared and still too young to know what's real.
Giving trust where it's trusted. I trust the knife that I'm thrusting into my neck.
Teenage love is just monotony. My perfect little lobotomy.
Knee deep in my own warmth is not a bad dream.
Maybe I miscalculated the end of my life.
You aren't the end. I think I can mend, but not with these wounds.
I'm in need of the quickest bandage you can find.
Don't count to three, I might be gone by then.
I'll find love, but when? I leave these questions to be lamented on again.

Current Music: Dallas Green - Like Knives

Time Takes Time
Drawn in like the ocean's waves
Before we choose to attack the concaved, christ enhanced midnight.
Shaking hands and making plans to rescue hope
From the well that it fell down two nights ago.
Placed in film, penciled in. Made our mark.
It's time to leave. So, no one has seen what we left behind.
Is this the end? Can we ever really tell?
Troubled times, mark those years, crossed black lines
Into an anomoly of cold sweat and tears.
Can I get a drumroll? Or some sort of fanfare?
So, they know I'm walking right off the edge.
Troubled times, bitter wine. Steal the night.
From the moon and all the stars that glisten down at you.
Apologize to everything that you have ever loved.
Coffee, sugar, the whole bit.
Not getting used to it.
Not just yet.
I'm trying to forget.
I loved you all the same.
Trust that I would never hurt you,
I cut into the ground below your feet, just to catch you when you dream.
Not meaning to be trite, but I miss your eyes, tonight.
Does this sound too surreal? Are love songs all this real?
Am I not one to steal the air outside you breathe?
The dancing on your coffin. The ether I cracked open,
To breathe and fall asleep. I want to see your dreams.
So, I can just find out, who you're dreaming about.
Or maybe make you fall in love with me through this
Necktie love affair, maritime, cracked and open lips.
Rummaged through your memory banks. Kept you alive for too long.
This is where I throw down my sword.
I'm bored, and I'm home. You're alone.
A fight with two victors is not the battle we expected.
This right to die and live, well, it's perplexing.
Troubled times, kissing thighs. It's not love.
Not just lust, somewhere in between, it that's possible.
Be my queen, the sky will bleed from the wound we gave to it.
Giving up, it's not my style. This whole format. It takes a while.
Learning fast, days and nights. Amongst troubled times.
Coffee, sugar, the whole bit.
Not getting used to it.
Not just yet.
I'm trying to forget.
I loved you all the same.

Current Music: Anathallo - Don't Kid Yourself, You Need A Physician

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